Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj lets get ready to crumble
    Donor TMB OG
    Dallas CowboysEvertonAustin FCDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    that is an absolute unit of a baby
     
  2. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesBoston Red SoxOrlando MagicNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    Welcome. Mine are 17 months apart and they’ve made it to 2.5 and 14 months. The little one (girl) has been obsessed with the older one (boy) since she started figuring out what things were. He loves her too. Of course there are tough moments but it’s pretty awesome.
     
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  3. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
    Donor
    Oregon DucksPortland Trail BlazersSan Francisco 49'ersManchester UnitedPortland Timbers

    my boys that are 19 months apart beat the shit out of each other constantly (they’re 4 and 6).
     
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  4. pianoman

    pianoman my drinks are free
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsDetroit Red Wings

    Circling back to the tablet discussion. For those who don’t want their kids to have tablets all the time, I’d check your local library. We Home School our boys full time and are always looking for supplemental learning opportunities. Most libraries now will have tablets called Launchpads that are fire tablets that are each age specific with math, phonics, foreign language games loaded onto them. Our four year old has one checked out right now that has a phonics game, addition game, Spanish learning, memory game, etc. we’ll return it later this week and check out a new one for next week. They’re useful if you want to limit how accessible the tablets are and also make sure that while they’re using them it’s at least something educational they’re doing.
     
  5. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    My not yet potty trained two year old is home with a stomach bug and turned her bath into a diarrhea jacuzzi.
     
  6. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    For her I feel bad, for you I don’t. Joys of fatherhood!
     
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  7. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Praying I die from the fumes when I bleach the tub.
     
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  8. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    That sucks. We somehow have avoided that whole disaster. Idk how.
     
  9. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Same, we got more of the flip-side where our daughter was frequently constipated and needed suppositories. She'll still hold her shits in too long and we have to make sure we feed her fiber frequently.
     
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  10. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    She shat into the rubber non-slip mat and that like cheese gratered the poop
     
  11. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Almost had to give my oldest an enema about a month ago cuz she hadn’t shit in 4-5 days. She decided to try one last time and was sitting on the toilet listening to me explain what was gonna happen and that gave her the needed power to push that thing out.

    so much of my life revolves around shit.
     
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  12. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My 3 year old didn't tell us he was pooping the other day, walks out and says "I pooped on the ground". Run to the bathroom to see he pooped in the toilet, a log must have been stuck in his butt, he tried wiping with 100 pieces of toiler paper, there was poop all over the rug, himself, the toilet. Always a fun way to start the day.
     
  13. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    Might I suggest a bidet. Not only is it life changing for adults, it has made wiping butts (and them wiping their own butts) much less.... risky.
     
  14. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    We actually got an outlet put next to our toilet when we remodeled but never pulled the trigger on one...think I just found one of my wifes christmas gifts
     
  15. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    I had one put in just to support it. It is a game changer, no question. You'll love it. I have the Toto C5. My 7 and 5 year old use it all the time.
     
  16. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Could not relate more, we're still dealing with it. We went on a vacation for Thanksgiving break and one of the places we stayed at had a bidet toilet seat that stayed warm. The warm toilet seat, not the actual water feature, scared the shit out of our seven year old and she refused to use it unless it was unplugged.
     
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  17. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    lmbo
     
  18. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Wait til they go to college and don’t have a bidet and don’t know how to wipe their butt.
     
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  19. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    Hopefully their girlfriend or roommate will help them. Or, perhaps, they have better dexterity in their hands and they don't get it all over the walls, rug and/or ceiling.
     
  20. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    What if they never get a bidet and still never learn how to wipe their butt? Oldest is trending in that direction.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  21. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    It happens. I’ve seen it with so many of my son’s friends. The best option seems to be waffle stomping from what other parents have shared
     
  22. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    [​IMG]
     
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  23. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    I feel like a bidet would scare the shit out of my kids, especially my oldest, and especially since I don't have a hot water line next to the toilet.

    I love the idea but I feel like it has greater possibility to backfire rather than benefit my household.
     
  24. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    You just need an outlet, not a hot water line. The reservoir fills and is heated, it'll eventually run out.

    It "scared" my kids a bit at first, too. Then they learned to love it. It was honestly an unintended byproduct of the purchase. I bought it to use in our master for my me and my wife. The kids liking it has just been a nice surprise.
     
  25. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska Cornhuskers alt

    We have a bidet in our master bathroom (they are amazing and I'll never not have one), but my 4 year old nephew used our bathroom the other day by himself and he thought the dial for the bidet was the flusher, so he cranked it to full power and all of a sudden we hear a blood curdling scream. He not only gave himself quite the enema, but he then hopped off the toilet and the bidet water was shooting from one side of the bathroom to the other. Luckily we got in there within a few seconds and got the water turned off to avoid any damage so it's funny looking back, but I've pretty much made our bathroom off limits to anyone besides us from now on.
     
  26. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  27. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    LOL that's also my fear.

    The first time I ever encountered one was over in a hotel in China and I kinda did the same thing.
     
  28. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    That's amazing. I do think that some models have a "weight sensor" and will turn off when no one is on the seat to avoid what you had the pleasure of experiencing.
     
  29. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesColumbus CrewUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

    our 2.5 year old accidentally turned on the bidet, and she was not a fan. quite scared, actually.
     
  30. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My limited research said Toto is way to go and the C5 seems like the sweet spot. On it's way. My wife is gonna shit herself when she opens it! (and be able to clean up exquisitely)
     
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  31. tmank87

    tmank87 Well-Known Member

    You'll be shitting over the moon! Hope you enjoy.
     
    bruce bowen likes this.
  32. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    My boys would do this for sport so I’ll steer clear for now.
     
  33. gritzy

    gritzy I am a hurricane on the golf course

    The poop returns
     
  34. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
    Donor
    Oregon DucksPortland Trail BlazersSan Francisco 49'ersManchester UnitedPortland Timbers

    Got pulled over this morning with the whole family in the car on the way to see Santa. It was on a road heading out of town where it goes 25 to 55mph in less than a mile stretch, so kind of bullshit. My wife was pissed though.

    Cop comes up to my window and my 4 year old (who has zero understanding of the situation) yells that “we’re going to see Santa!” The cop is really nice and chats with my three kids for minute. Ends up getting a warning, which I have never gotten in my life. Thanks for saving me a ticket, pal.

    When we get there my shithead 6-year old then says”I’m gonna tell Santa I got pulled over.”
     
  35. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    I've had my first back to back flights where my son slept 80% of it. It was glorious. Lil melatonin gummies and bam dude is out in 30min
     
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  36. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    What is everyone getting their kids? My 4.5 year old seems to have a lot of crap, but not a lot of good toys. IDK if that is on us as parent or not, but want to get more toys so he's away from tablets some. Wife and I are getting him a "big boy" room, but not really fun. His fav activity is going to the skate park on the scooter, but not ready for a 2 wheel thing yet.

    Thinking a drum set is one thing we're gonna get. Not sure if I should get a set or just a pad with sticks. He got a keyboard last year and likes it.
     
  37. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    You got one kid you can figure it out
     
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  38. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    lil man had been playing with an old set of my clubs so we bought him a new set and bag, etc. Ended up buying it through Dicks / Golf Galaxy before Black Friday and used the 3x points. Today we were getting some more shit at Dicks and the cashier was shocked at $300 in rewards.

    His birthday is in January and my wife told me today we’re getting him a MacBook Pro.
     
    Where Eagles Dare likes this.
  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    He’s going to college soon right? Laptop seems appropriate
     
  40. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Yeah. He has a Dell XPS but apparently wants a Mac. It’s whatever at this point for me
     
  41. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    I'm sorry your life sucks
     
  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    It doesn’t suck it’s just very poopy
     
  43. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    That was a little harsh NPR, sorry about the poop though.
     
  44. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Sorry it's shitty. Srs. You're always so aggressive
     
  45. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Ok fine here is a lifehack


    Get the Amazon or Target toy magazines and let your kid look at it and tell you what they want
     
  46. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Use to love the Sears or Toy R Us magazine back in the day.
     
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  47. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Service Merchandise says sup to the real ones
     
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  48. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    It's a real shame toys R us doesn't exist for kids. I used to love that place. Target is I guess the best option, but it kinda sucks for toys
     
  49. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    My wife just texted me that she might be ok with getting my 11 yr old a cat (she's been asking for years). Whether that happens or not, we'll still probably get her some clothes, gift cards, and a book set she asked for (I've already purchased the book set). I was thinking about getting her a horseback riding experience too, but she is still recovering from breaking her foot so it probably wouldn't be feasible to do until February. Hoping to hold off on the cell phone for a bit longer.

    My 9 yr old asked for a pet fish (which seems like a terrible idea if we get a cat). I just got us tickets to the UF bowl game since it's here in Tampa. We're also going to WWE Smackdown on Dec 27th (in Mrs. Scorpio's company suite). Will probably load his Fortnite account with some V-Bucks too.
     
    #20299 Hank Scorpio, Dec 9, 2024
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2024
  50. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    Five year-old is getting a bike and tickets to a Panthers game (poor kid). Nine year-old is getting a four wheeler.