Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Clown Baby is jealous I stopped meeting him for beers so I could go to my DC socialite events.
     
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  2. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Visiting the insurrectionists at the DC jail is a socialite event now huh
     
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  3. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    My wife was just sleeping with her eyes open grinding her teeth. I decided to take a picture and it ended about as poorly as you can imagine (with her getting woken up grabbing for the bright light [not my dong] interrupting her graceful slumber).

    Meanwhile, Eathan Edwards is requesting input about how high the thong should come up his wife’s ass and Tobias is policing another thread.

    Just another day in TMB paradise.

    Edit: I guess Tobias could be just picking the low hanging fruit of criticizing EE.
     
    #13803 jbr, Jan 13, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2022
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  4. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Tobias’ recent posts itt are best summed up by a scene from the 90s legal thriller Jury Duty
     
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  5. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    You took a flash photo of her face while she was sleeping? Pfft
     
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  6. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Using flash at all SMH
     
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  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    We were out at a dinner this week with 3 other couples, one of the gfs used flash for a photo of the meal and it was a pretty nice place so bf gave her shit about it being impolite/embarrassing.

    Blow up argument ensued including....and I quote - "I'll show you embarrassing"
     
  8. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    You’ll never believe what happened next!
     
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  9. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Nah that was pretty much it - just loudness and them leaving and immediately getting back together.

    But it totally screwed the rest of us having to sit there after the fact.
     
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  10. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    Lol - they made a big disturbance, exited the restaurant, and left the other six of you to sit there and catch stink eye from the rest of the patrons for the rest of your meals?
     
  11. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Yup - and I'm in hospitality in the city so I knew other guests and staff there.

    Basically my worst nightmare.

    Oh and also they didn't have to pay their portion of the bill. lol
     
  12. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Youve been had
     
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  13. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Staging a huge fight and walkout with my significant other at a white tablecloth restaurant right before the check comes
     
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  14. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    A buddy of mine and his wife once got so fucked up at dinner they left before their entrees came. They thought they’d finished their meals after appetizers. They at least had the decency to leave a card.
     
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  15. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    “We get it, Eathan, you go to restaurants with friends” - Tobias
     
  16. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    I’m sorry but PBRs were only $1 at Hooters that night
     
  17. Willpépé

    Willpépé Well-Known Member
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    Went out to dinner with BIL and his GF. GF's fucking on his asshole the entire time, it was so fucking uncomfortable. Real nice place, wasn't really apparent to surrounding guests until her entree arrived and she lit the waitress up like I have never ever seen before. She was out of control murder rage angry. Waitress leaves and she starts laying into BIL, wife slams down her napkin and says, "Enough" and walks to the bathroom. The woman turns to me and says, "Willpepe, is she mad at me?" I could not believe it, I laughed and said, "Yeah, very mad right now."

    And that was the last time we went out to eat with them.
     
  18. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    wut
     
  19. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Willpépé edited that post to clarify that GF’s fucking on his asshole instead of GFas fucking in his asshole and I’m more confused now
     
  20. Willpépé

    Willpépé Well-Known Member
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    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    Sorry there were four people there. BIL, his GF, my wife and myself. His GF was out of control.

    I finished work up about 30 minutes ago and had a martini. Apologies in advance.
     
  21. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    That’s not the part I’m confused by!
     
  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    So we're back to dinner kink shaming....after all we've been through
     
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  23. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Whose asshole was being fucked and why did the waitress get chewed out?!
     
  24. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    “Im sorry ma’am but you can’t fuck his asshole in here”
     
  25. Willpépé

    Willpépé Well-Known Member
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    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    She was on his ass...... you never heard that term?

    His girlfriend was on his case and nagging him from the moment we met them there. That parlayed into her taking out the way her protein was cooked on the waitress. Like the way she spoke to that woman I would never talk to someone like that.
     
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  26. Willpépé

    Willpépé Well-Known Member
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    There's a cork fee for that here maam.
     
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  27. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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    I was waiting for “she had shit on her finger” or something
     
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  28. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I’ve heard “on his ass” but that’s not what you said.
     
  29. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I’ve heard “on his ass” but not “fucking on his asshole.” Here’s what you do: you buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re gonna be surprised by some of your phrasing.
     
  30. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Clown Baby is on a heater
     
  31. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I've lived in the Deep South, Manhattan, Wyoming, Miami, and LA - never have I heard the term "on his asshole"....in that context of course
     
  32. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    On his ass.... yes I have heard
    Fucking on his asshole..... no, I have not heard that before
     
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  34. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    In the thickest Philly voice imaginable

    “yeah, she was focking on his acehole”
     
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  35. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'll be honest, this makes perfect sense now.
     
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  36. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    The waitress asks can I refeel yer wooder and she blose up
     
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  37. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    Refeel that jawn.
     
  38. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Clown Baby is gonna fuck on some assholes tonight
     
  39. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    This Clown Baby feller seems smart, funny, and probably very handsome too. How have I never noticed before?
     
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  40. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    She was having sex on his asshole, which was the origin of the confrontation
     
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  41. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    “Were you having the fuck on my asshole?”

    [Read in whatever accent you please]
     
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  42. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    My first thought when I saw that was, “Who would wear that?”

    I’m so out of tune WRT, well, everything.
     
  43. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    Nothing wrong with that.

    Out of context.

    Willpépé, you blow hard!
     
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  44. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    upload_2022-1-14_18-42-39.gif
     
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  45. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Two of her friends from Yale/Florida dressed about this aggressively to go to the gay bars by our house last week.

    I was not prepared for the level of rowdiness a bunch of nerds were bringing to the table.
     
    #13846 Eathan Edwards, Jan 15, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2022
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  46. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    None of you have really been assfucked by your spouse and it shows smh
     
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  47. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    On this week's episode of ned learns how much stuff his wife buys when he goes to sell it, we have $400 in sleep sacks and swaddles :shocked:
     
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  48. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    My wife is wanting to organize our house and clean up by…. Buying more stuff. I’ve done it before and got my asshole fucking but I’m about to just start throwing stuff away without her permission.
     
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  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I'm pretty sure I could sneak something out every day for a month before my wife would realize anything was missing