Fine - y'all will get what you requested I can assure you. Check the SEC thread if you don't believe me.
I don't think I've argued with our gf a single time other than food decisions. But her texts pop up on her computer so we were in bed together and I saw what this one girl she works with was texting her and she's clearly trying to poach, I will make the fucking square bitch
I'm not typically this heated, still reeling from Bristol Farms and the Ole Miss performance I'll be normal in a day I promise
Yes. I have no frame of reference for a lot of the crazy stuff y’all post. I’ve spent plenty of the time at the grocery however.
next time MLS needs to bring the lion to the grocery store, I bet nobody will arm tackle her. problem solved
My mom is visiting for the week. Her and my wife get along great, but a week with the MIL is a lot. My wife was annoyed at a conversation they had this morning. Apparently she sent my mom a bitchy text that was supposed to go to me. Gonna be lit when I get home.
My in laws are here visiting for 6 weeks. They’re great and I love them. Just got here Saturday and my MIL is already doing things that annoy me. She can’t see one dirty dish in the sink, so is always washing something. And she wants to wash clothes every day. My water bill skyrockets when they are here. She also loves leaving doors open (front/deck/garage).
My Mom once sent a text to my wife talking shit about her that was meant for someone else. That was fun.
I know, right. Obviously not complaining about her helping out. However, you can be helpful without being wasteful.
My wife sent my family a group text that said “come up here and fuck me before this kid wakes up”. No adverse reactions, but a bunch of laughter. If she would have sent that to her family we never would have seen them again.
Idk about how ritzy establishments in their neck of the woods operate, but I have friends that live on Mercer Island (rich as fuck suburb of Seattle) and had the misfortune of needing to go to a store. Motherfuckers will look at you to quickly assess your general net worth to determine if they’re even going to move their cart out of the way. Never been more pissed off in my life as they clearly saw too much Yakima in me and promptly ignored me
One of my friends in college left a drunk voicemail for another female friend who he had hooked up with, suggesting they go for another round. I guess he had her family's home phone number saved as the primary
I texted her family that I was going to pick up a new bowl and then I would be home so we could play CoD back in the day. Luckily none of them except her brother knew what I was talking about and he texted me on the side so I could play it cool when they started asking wtf I was talking about. It’s a dangerous game.
Me and the gf have basically the same phone cover and we accidentally took each other's phones, she's about 30 miles away so I just said merge me in anytime you get a call so I can handle it and I'll do the same. She has definitely read all my texts now
I don't have a good text story, but I did give my MIL access to my google drive recipes. Hope she's cooked this pork dish that I'm making tonight Spoiler: directions Dip those fuckers in egg and bread crumbs and bake in the oven for 20 minutes at 425 degrees.
Pffft, I grew up shit talking in white trash Florida and have left several times. She would leave day 1.
This place isn’t for the faint of heart. She’d be asked for pics immediately and then the shitstorm would ensue. Probably best she stays away unless she can sports talk.
I was at my in laws house when my first kid was probably a year old. I wake up and start copping a feel on my wife. She’s sort of into it so I say something like “spread your legs so I can finger your pussy”. She replies with “great job, dumbass…the baby monitor is on downstairs”. I go downstairs and her whole family is face deep in coffee staring at the ground. Luckily, they never communicate about anything and sweep it all under the rug.
Should have started eating something that required finger to mouth at breakfast and just watch the world burn "Anybody else want some of this watermelon?"
I can top this. Had a high school acquaintance who was a low level drug dealer when we were all in college. He would mainly sell weed but I would see him out from time to time and he would always boast about being able to get anything. So we would hit him up occasionally. Well his dad eventually caught him and changed his number. coincidently this woman who was close friends with my parents and the mother of my best friends future wife just happened to get a new number at the same time and got his number. so over the next several years she proceeded to field texts from former drug dealer customers. Including several from me identifying myself by first and last name asking for not only weed but much more hardcore drugs as my degenerate habits evolved in my later college years. so yes I asked my parents friend multiple times for weed, cocaine, Molly, acid etc. I still see this woman several times a year and have a minor panic attack every time.
I've been running through what I would do in this scenario, probably would have snuck out the back door and texted a lie of some kind of why we had to rush out If my grandparents/in-laws hear my dirty talk, I'd probably need a lot of therapy
One of the girls I work with is going through a separation but they still currently live together and apparently she slapped him with an open sleeve of crackers today I, like an asshole, immediately laughed as she was explaining this because it's absolutely absurd absurd We have fun here
They live in Colombia, so when they come they always stay at least that long. Last time was almost 3 months.