Vasectomy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by CUAngler, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Gotta ask. Why do you need a 16 ounce vessel to catch your juice? Or do you just reuse until full?
     
    Hank Scorpio likes this.
  2. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's dad
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersCleveland BrownsOregon State Beavers alt

    lol...I usually went the much smaller Dixie cup. I just thought it was cleaner that jerking into a sock or something
     
    ned's head likes this.
  3. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    I have a spittoon.

    not really but would love to explain to people that visit our house. Why yes I see you're impressed with my ejaculate spittoon
     
  4. AHebrewToo

    AHebrewToo Albino Hebrew Extraordinaire
    Donor
    Indiana HoosiersNotre Dame Fighting IrishWashington NationalsIndiana PacersIndianapolis Colts

    You're an asshole.

    No need to brag about that.

    Vasectomy is a simple procedure and recovery. No way I'd have let my wife have a tubal instead.
     
  5. Todd Bonzales

    Todd Bonzales Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsUSA RugbyTiger WoodsOhio BobcatsCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansOlympics

    Maybe his second was Caesarian and they just did it then? :idk: That’s quite common.
     
  6. roggins

    roggins Butcher of Bakersfield & Chris Gaines impersonator
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    Do it the Friday before Thanksgiving. Lot of food and football to ease your recovery. Also you can play up the "my balls are killing me" when the wife asks you to do anything during the holiday. Prime lazy boy activities.
     
  7. AHebrewToo

    AHebrewToo Albino Hebrew Extraordinaire
    Donor
    Indiana HoosiersNotre Dame Fighting IrishWashington NationalsIndiana PacersIndianapolis Colts

    That's a little more understandable I suppose.
     
  8. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I'm gonna get fixed soon as well. My swimmers are crafty and need to be put down rather than rely on anything that could be going on in my wife's body
     
    Fusiontegra likes this.
  9. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
    Donor

    What're the odds on a 3NolesFan3 drive by to relay his story?
     
  10. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
    Donor
    Michigan Wolverines

    ding ding ding

    They actually take the tubes out completely now instead of tying them off

    :themoreyouknow:
     
  11. AHebrewToo

    AHebrewToo Albino Hebrew Extraordinaire
    Donor
    Indiana HoosiersNotre Dame Fighting IrishWashington NationalsIndiana PacersIndianapolis Colts

    You're still an asshole, which is a fact I know you revel in.
     
  12. Aurelius

    Aurelius This man, Lenny Pepperidge, AKA Lenny the Pep...
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersCleveland BrownsCrystal PalaceCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansPGANebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Don't sweat it... was a breeze honestly - the whole thing took about 20 minutes which isn't that bad as everything is numb.

    Spent the next 2 days laying in bed watching Narcos while taking hydrocodone (you're supposed to stay off your feet for 2-3 days)

    As others have said make sure you wear the tightest of the tighty whities you have - you don't want any movement at all
     
    tjsblue likes this.
  13. Z

    Z Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    I wore regular under armour boxer briefs and went to a festival and walked around the next day. Very little soreness.

    Should've done it sooner.
     
  14. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersAtlanta Braves

    i got a rx for 6 and I’m supposed to take one an hour before. I think this is the part I’m most annoyed about.
     
  15. Kent Pavelka

    Kent Pavelka Let's pause 10 seconds for station identification
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersMinnesota Twins

    I never liked Vicodin but that Valium before the procedure was great.

    One of my favorite drug experiences ever was getting some Fentanyl through an IV before receiving a nerve block in my armpit for finger surgery.
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  16. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska Cornhuskers alt

    The correct play is to have it done the Wednesday of Masters week. I had mine done this past November on that Wednesday and the next two days I was forced, doctors orders, to sit on the couch and I watched nothing but Masters coverage from the time I woke up until I went to bed.

    March Madness is way too much fun and should be spent amongst friends drinking, eating, gambling etc.*

    *In non-covid times
     
    Boom TittyMilk likes this.
  17. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
    Donor

    Threadisworthlesswithoutpics.gif
     
    ARCO, wes tegg, CloudBerry and 3 others like this.
  18. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    They probably thought I was a pain pussy after I wanted to tear the urologist's head off during the procedure
     
  19. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakers

    Mine didn’t take.
     
  20. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    I'm going to get one. Just not sure when. I'm only 31 so it feels young to call it quits but I'm like 85% sure I'm done having kids. We have a boy and a girl (4 and 2) and they are good kids. Taking care of babies is really exhausting and I don't think I would handle starting back over again very well. I'm just not sure I'm ready to eliminate the possibility of the third quite yet.
     
    Whammy and blind dog like this.
  21. LuPoor

    LuPoor Revenge bedtime procrastinator
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderSeattle Kraken

    Snip snip my dude. Can't imagine wanting a third after 20 months of having 2
     
  22. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 FSU Seminoles 2020 National Champions
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    I got morphine when I was in the hospital for Crohns. I learned real quick why people like that stuff.

    I also had a flare up on July 4th one year. The ER doctor walked in and said “you look like the kind of guy that would rather be anywhere but here right now like on a boat so we’ve got......” and listed like like 6 different pain killers and let me pick the one I wanted.
     
    Kent Pavelka likes this.
  23. blind dog

    blind dog wps
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWu-tangCoors LightPoker

    We had two kids and were 100% done. Kid 2 was an expensive pregnancy so waiting to have vasectomy. Had vasectomy when kid 3 was a few months old
     
    devine and Fusiontegra like this.
  24. RonBurgundy

    RonBurgundy Well-Known Member

    I perform these in the office routinely. Easy to do, just don’t be stupid and go to the gym and do squats the next day. AMA
     
    kinghill and Fusiontegra like this.
  25. Tarpon Nole

    Tarpon Nole Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    I am being 100% serious, I am afraid of what would happen if it moved while someone was cupping my balls. Biggest reason I haven’t got one yet
     
  26. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    One of the reasons we had a third was because at 20 months our second was hospitalized with an unknown respiratory virus. Scared the crap out of us, and we didn't want our kids to grow up only children if one of them got got for any reason. First two were also really easy and got along really well, so we thought "hey, we're good at this," and we kinda wanted to try for a daughter one last time

    Going from 2 to 3 is harder than going from 1 to 2. We needed another bedroom on the house, and a minivan instead of a sedan. Plus you have to do zone coverage when going out instead of man to man. Absolutely no regrets tho
     
    ShuPoor likes this.
  27. LuPoor

    LuPoor Revenge bedtime procrastinator
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderSeattle Kraken

    This is legitimately one of the most bone chilling things I've ever read. 1 to 2 was a thousand times harder than I expected. The particular kid might be a big part of that though. If our second had been first, we would have stopped at one.
     
  28. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    I generalized on the basis of my N=1

    Our first two slept through at three months, weren't problematic, and got along immediately. Your mileage may vary
     
  29. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrillPoker

    You just did it for the drugs and to make your package look bigger for a day, didn’t you
     
    devine and blind dog like this.
  30. blind dog

    blind dog wps
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersWu-tangCoors LightPoker

    It actually made my dick look smaller (didn't know that was possible!) due to size of gigantic swollen nuts
     
    devine, Fusiontegra and bertwing like this.
  31. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    You're outnumbered at 3.
     
  32. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami MarlinsJacksonville JaguarsSporting Kansas CityAvengersMiami HeatSneakersWu-tang

    Well mine doesn’t have a uterus at all so ha.
     
  33. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
    Donor

    +1 for this. First was an angel (now 12). Second is problem child, big time.
     
  34. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast Doing some beachy things.
    Donor
    Chicago White SoxChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksKansas State WildcatsMontreal Impact

  35. Leeroy Jenkins!

    Leeroy Jenkins! Big Ivermectin Energy
    Donor

    Vasectomy thread. Ha, we're old.
     
  36. Nelson

    Nelson Can somebody please get Ja Rule on the phone
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersDenver NuggetsDenver BroncosColorado AvalanceBorussia DortmundManchester UnitedColorado State Rams

    Just rename this thread the Pull Out Game Not Strong Thread
     
  37. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Sheet, I know lots of guys who started getting snipped in their mid to late 20's
    Couple or 3 kids by that point in life and you need to cut that shit out
     
  38. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Ever have a guy cry before /during /after?

    Ever had a guy ask to use the restroom for one last load drop?

    Ever had a patient with a massive or micropeen?

    Do you /the nurses discuss dong sizes after patients leave?

    Ever have a guy get an erection or blow their load during an exam?
     
    Whammy, Taffy, billdozer and 3 others like this.
  39. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Did you get your vasectomy in 1995?
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  40. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    I have a 7 month old, day care has been closed for 1.5 weeks bc Covid.

    Where do I sign up? Ain't doing this shit again
     
    Taffy and BIGASSTITTIES like this.
  41. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt


    And ignore thread
     
    ned's head, ARCO, RonBurgundy and 2 others like this.
  42. BIGASSTITTIES

    BIGASSTITTIES Fan of: BIGASSTITTIES
    Donor

    the ole “pull and pray”
     
  43. BIGASSTITTIES

    BIGASSTITTIES Fan of: BIGASSTITTIES
    Donor

    Checking in fellas. I have my vasectomy consultation on Friday. Urologist I’m seeing apparently offers a March madness special that I may be taking advantage of.
     
    blind dog and Celemo like this.
  44. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    It's what everyone is asking.
     
    fuxstockings and Todd Bonzales like this.
  45. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Fucking weirdo
     
  46. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    So, real question? How much did that shit cost and was it covered under insurance?
     
  47. LuPoor

    LuPoor Revenge bedtime procrastinator
    Donor
    Tulsa Golden HurricaneOklahoma City ThunderSeattle Kraken

    We hit our out of pocket maximum after #2 was born, so Q4 2019 was free elective surgery palooza
     
  48. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Well that’s just good marketing.
     
  49. RonBurgundy

    RonBurgundy Well-Known Member

    nope. Lots of no shows though.
    wtf
    one guy had such small peen/balls I refused to do it and sent him to urology.
    nah
    nah.
     
  50. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    Day 2 of recovery hurt way worse than the procedure itself. The procedure was less painful than a dental cleaning. And the waiting 7 days to do the deed made me feel like I was 15 again. That may have been the worst part.

    Mine was mid-covid too so the procedure itself was delayed about 2 months and bringing my "sample" to the office required having to sit in the waiting area of a large medical center and call the doc and sit there and wait in front of 20 people with a cup in my hand. Good times.
     
    Fusiontegra and Name P. Redacted like this.