Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    i'd much rather have his girl post on here, she sounds fun.
     
  2. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Over/under on how long she would maintain the account? 3 days? I don't think it would take more than 8 hours before she would be receiving unsolicited ab shots.
     
  3. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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  4. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    She reads it as often as I do she just never posts.

    Hopefully this is not interpreted as a green-light for unsolicited ab shots.
     
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  5. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Waking up admittedly not sober and being notified of an incoming wallaby adoption and related hearing wasn’t my ideal Thursday morning - but here we are.
     
  6. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Good luck with the dick pics.
     
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  7. hudson

    hudson Oh, you know...stuff.
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    breaks up with me in a text message to get back with her ex who had previously left her.
     
  8. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    That’s shitty
     
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  9. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    you are naming this thing rocco right? I mean, I know it's cliche and expected, but it still has to be done.
     
  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    It’s already been named Scarlett apparently - the breeder is a big Gone with the Wind fan.
     
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  11. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Does she answer to “Scarlett”? Otherwise just call her whatever you want.
     
  12. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet if that is acceptable behavior for her
     
  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Not overly well versed in wallaby care so pretty much playing this by ear.
     
  14. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    We are apparently getting a Timor wallaby, not a Burnett’s.

    And also apparently I already knew this and we “talked about it”.

    Lol, yea definitely plausible I forgot that conversation.
     
    #9164 Eathan Edwards, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2019
  15. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Congrats on the new shoes
     
  16. hudson

    hudson Oh, you know...stuff.
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    I’m hopelessly in love with her. I’d take her back in a second.
     
  17. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  18. hudson

    hudson Oh, you know...stuff.
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    yepp I'm pathetic, but its ok, its just my norm. But yeah I'm better off without her.
     
    #9168 hudson, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
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  19. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    cheer up, man. there's plenty of other crazy bitches out there that will treat you like shit, you just have to find the right one. best of luck and i hope things get better for you.
     
  20. hudson

    hudson Oh, you know...stuff.
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    haha most definitely. It happened 2 weeks ago and I've already hooked up twice since, so I'll be ok.
     
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  21. Realtree Buck

    Realtree Buck President of the Jake Fromm fan club
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    So my wife text me earlier saying her work was doing a fantasy football league and needed 1 more. So I said I would join. Tonight during the draft, she had the #1 pick btw, decided during the 6th-7th round she needed a TE. Who does she pick with her 1st choice but none other than Stephen Gostkowski. But it gets better, she wanted to pick Rob Gronkowski. So with her next pick, who does she take? Yep, the guy who retired.
     
  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Well that's just offensive - I've pretty much verified all of my absurd stories to one degree or another so it's not like this is a big departure from my usual.
     
  23. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wife has been all congested and coughing for 3 days, complaining that she cant sleep because of the coughing
    Finally went to the doctor today
    Doc says it allergy related due to smoke from Mexico, etc.
    Gives her a shot and prescription for cough medicine

    Well she decided to not get the cough medicine at the pharmacy because it's some "over the counter" stuff and she claims it didnt work for her in the past

    She has been in bed since I got home, and all I have heard is coughing down the hall the whole time
     
  24. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    This is somehow your fault.
     
  25. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Absolutely
     
  26. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    No one cares about your fantasy football draft.
     
  27. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    She just asked me how old she is
     
  28. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    69 is the obvious answer
     
  29. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Or 24, all of our wives are 24 forever thanks to Sterling A
     
  30. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    I haven't known my age for at least a decade. Always gotta do the math
     
  31. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Same, I am 24 the Mathematics always bring me back to 24

    Such a shame sterling a could not randomly lie about her age and chose 23 instead of 24, so many more gif options with 23 because of that stupid movie
     
  32. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    She hasn’t sent you to the pharmacy? She must really be sick
     
  33. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Like I said I am not great at math but I would say you are at least ten years older than the last time you knew how old you were. No need to thank me, I am happy to help
     
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  34. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    :usasmug:
     
  35. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I’ve said my age wrong no less than 5 times in the past couple months

    I stopped giving a shit after like 23
     
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  36. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, i was pretty loose while in Chicago a few months ago, when the credit card details came in I was not as smugzy.
     
    bertwing likes this.
  37. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I was on my dad's credit card accounts since I was approximately 14/15 just to build up my credit- high school Eathan trying to justify a fake ID with an "account holder since 83" AMEX likely annoyed every doorman in New Orleans at some point.
     
  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    GF this morning: "Why is Mia Khalifa trending on spankbang? She's terrible"
     
  39. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Her: *some completely inane statement

    Me:

    Her: Hello!?!?

    I'm supposed to verbally respond to every thought you have?
     
  40. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    Tell me that doesn't read better.
     
  41. dathalfnukkahd

    dathalfnukkahd dat nukka high definition
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    Are you even listening to me?!?!?
     
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  42. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I have my headphones on honey, what did you expect....what is it? I am listening now

    Her-> forget about it, you don’t care anyway
     
  43. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Which is kind of true to be fair to her
     
  44. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Don't forget to wash your hands!
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    This is about the 3rd time this year my fiance has left the washing machine lid open, resulting in a slight flood of our basement.
     
  45. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Front loader?
     
  46. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Don't forget to wash your hands!
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    Older top load. Load size was set to super, so lots of water to clean up this time.
     
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  47. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    BFF has never bothered to look at a pay stub since starting a new job in March. It's now September, and today I look over them and realize her employer is not withholding anything whatsoever for federal income taxes.
     
  48. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    Yeah but the benefits are nonexistent
     
  49. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 The giants milk we got drank pretty good don’t it
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    duh you didn’t stop at the HEB and get the cough syrup
     
  50. NP13

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    That sucks.

    Mine is older too, but it won't start until the lid is closed.
     
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