The Colonoscopy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by AubCabs, Mar 24, 2022.

  1. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    #1 Cabs, Mar 24, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2022
    double RL, bertwing, Lip and 5 others like this.
  2. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    prep is the worst part, rest of it is no big deal because you go right to sleep
     
    Craig Pettis, Lip, blind dog and 5 others like this.
  3. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    Oh and best part was the pill laxatives didn’t clean me out good enough so I had to shoot two fleet enemas up my butt the morning of
     
  4. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    I didn’t even get the RX pills. Two dulcolax at 10:00. Two at 4:00, then chug a half gallon of Gatorade mixed with an entire bottle of Miralax at 6:00.
     
  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I've had several. Prep sucks, but there is no better feeling in this world than right when that anesthesia hits
     
    Craig Pettis, Han Solo, Lip and 10 others like this.
  6. Emma

    Emma
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    Had 3. 2nd one I hit on a gas station attendant by telling them I had a colonoscopy and need someone to aftercare me.
     
    Craig Pettis, IHHH, Lip and 26 others like this.
  7. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Michigan Wolverines

    You're asleep before the plunger is pushes all the sedative into your IV
     
    One Two likes this.
  8. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    This post is half way through a sedative IV
     
  9. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother that crack is like crack and I’m hooked
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSporting Kansas CityTottenham HotspurBig 8 ConferenceBig 12 ConferenceCoors LightFormula 1

    time to shut this thing down I think
     
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  10. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
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    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    We've been around this long?
     
  11. Joey Freshwater

    Joey Freshwater Slingin The Pipe Since 75
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Have had 3. Prep is the worst part for sure. Shit is terrible but it’s over quick and the sedative is GOAT.
     
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  12. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Demand whatever amount makes u comfortable
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideChicago CubsNew Orleans PelicansWu-tang

    Haven’t had one yet but I hope I’m awake when I finally cross that bridge
     
  13. naganole

    naganole I'm a pretty big deal around here.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsPoker

    The prep sucks, didn't have any discomfort from the procedure.
     
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  14. yaywaffles

    yaywaffles cheese monster
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    Ohio State BuckeyesFlorida GatorsCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland GuardiansAntifa

    no, but i've read that you spend the first few hours post-op just farting your brains out so you have that to look forward to at least
     
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  15. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    I had the same. Not sure how you can really tell your progress, but next time I might just take some extra dulcolax so I can avoid the enemas
     
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  16. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Michigan WolverinesDetroit PistonsDetroit LionsDetroit Red WingsDetroit Tigers

    As many have said, you're in the worst part now. You have the indignity of having a (probably) young female insert a large probe up your ass, but the trade-off is that sweet, sweet, anaesthetic.

    My wife still laughs about my recovery room crush on my nurse that I waxed eloquently about.

    (It was not Celemo )
     
  17. Smuggy

    Smuggy Well-Known Member
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    You only have about 10 seconds of realizing the propofol is hitting, but I wish I had those 10 seconds every day
     
  18. bamasam09

    bamasam09 Well-Known Member
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesSan Antonio SpursBuffalo Sabres

    When you're prepping there are no false alarms. Stay close to a toilet...baby wipes. Thank me later.
     
    Craig Pettis, IHHH, Lip and 7 others like this.
  19. Sportfan

    Sportfan From Six to Dumptime
    Donor
    San Antonio SpursHouston TexansNew Mexico State AggiesTexas AandM Aggies

    Got one before my 30th bday :feelsbadman:

    I took all the prep and was starting to get worried around midnight when nothing was happening. Ooh boy did I have nothing to be concerned about.

    Post colonoscopy I felt like I had to take a massive shit and the nurse kept telling me “there’s nothing up there it’s just gas”. After like 10min finally believed her and let it rip. Luckily (and obviously) she was right.
     
    slogan119, BudKilmer and Han Solo like this.
  20. HowdyHorns

    HowdyHorns Well-Known Member
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    Texas LonghornsFlorida GatorsLos Angeles Kings

    Thought this was another Watson thread
     
  21. HowdyHorns

    HowdyHorns Well-Known Member
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    Texas LonghornsFlorida GatorsLos Angeles Kings

    Prep is the worst part.
     
    AubCabs likes this.
  22. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    That first meal after the colonoscopy is a top ten meal
     
    double RL, blind dog, One Two and 4 others like this.
  23. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Did not experience this either time.
     
  24. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    Yep. Not trusting any farts. Been pretty much just hanging out in the bathroom the last few hours.

    current view from toilet: AC3A1C95-3768-4F6B-B332-40D5E4FD5479.jpeg

    Getting Waffle House right after :blessed:
     
    Goose, double RL, slogan119 and 19 others like this.
  25. EagleDuck

    EagleDuck Well-Known Member
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    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail BlazersSeattle Seahawks

    for a moment I thought that you had a small tv tucked into a bathroom drawer. You were my hero for about 10 seconds.
     
    slogan119, Lip, Han Solo and 6 others like this.
  26. bamasam09

    bamasam09 Well-Known Member
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesSan Antonio SpursBuffalo Sabres

    You're doing every bit of this correctly. Here's to clean results tomorrow.
     
    Taffy, mmm and AubCabs like this.
  27. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesBig Ten Conference

    to one up this

    do Tucks medicated wipes
     
  28. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesBig Ten Conference

    always weird to me that doctors have different methods for prep and not a unified answer
     
    Snakes likes this.
  29. Jake Scott

    Jake Scott Well-Known Member
    Staff Donor
    Jacksonville Jaguars

    Best sleep I’ve had in decades
     
  30. mmm

    mmm Well-Known Member

    Several years ago, I decided I better get screened. I had no family history of colon cancer or symptoms of problems but was getting to "that age." The prep and all that goes with it was the worst. Swore to my wife that I'd never do it again.

    Just a routine screening. Then, not so routine. They found a very large, cancerous polyp during the colonoscopy.

    After a couple of major surgeries and 7 years later, I'm still here. Wouldn't be here today if I hadn't had the screening. So you can imagine that I don't mind the prep quite so much anymore.

    I HIGHLY recommend that all of you get screened if you are over 40 or have any family history of colon cancer!

    Oh, and the sleep during the procedure and that first meal afterwards are both awesome!
     
  31. burnttatertot

    burnttatertot No Whammies!
    Donor
    Washington State CougarsSeattle MarinersNew York MetsSeattle SupersonicsMetal

    highly recommend them
     
  32. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
    Donor
    California Golden Bears

    Had one a few years ago. Prep was no fun, everything else was fine

    Worst thing was arguing with the insurance company afterward and having to pay out if pocket for it
     
    kinghill likes this.
  33. timo

    timo g'day, mate
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsPittsburgh SteelersPittsburgh PenguinsTottenham HotspurPittsburgh Pirates

    reminds me that I have a referral for one that i haven't made the appointment for yet.
    :moon::shocker:
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  34. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston Texans

    Getting one Monday. All the lit my doc gave me says I gotta eat soft, mushy foods for 2 weeks.
     
    mmm likes this.
  35. Space

    Space slicked back hair, white suit, sloppy steaks
    Donor
    Miami Hurricanes

    Been lucky enough to have a few. AMA.

    Different doctors have such different preps. Some plans are way better than others. Seems weird there’s no agreed best.

    Eating a low residue diet for 2 days before the prep can reallllyyyyy make life easier. Like usually you don’t even need it all.

    If you’re having any type of issues make sure they take biopsies even if they don’t see anything and if possible intubate the ileum… or don’t and get the fun of doing it again ;)
     
  36. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    The way you tell your progress is if you have clear watery shit coming out then you are good
     
  37. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    Ha it was pretty clear, but by the morning still not clear enough. I eat a fair amount of fruit and fiber though, so as was suggested a bit earlier, might want to keep the "clear" diet at least another day before the procedure.
     
  38. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsBorussia DortmundArsenalAtlanta UnitedAvengersMiami Heat

    Laid down in the bathroom all night last time I had one.
     
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  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    So how’s your asshole doing
     
    Lip, Henry Blake, EagleDuck and 3 others like this.
  40. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    got my first one coming up this year
     
  41. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago CubsChicago BullsDallas Cowboys

    Had one because I was having stomach issues and lucky nothing was found. The only part I hated about the prep was that constant feeling like I had to shit but there was nothing left in there, and the taste of the liquid. My wife said I just kept flirting with a nurse post-op and telling her she looked very familiar. I had so much gas inside that on the car ride home if we hit a bump it was like being punched in the gut, but man when those farts start it was almost better than sex.
     
  42. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    Raw, dog.

    I survived. Like everyone else said the anesthesia was amazing. Waiting on results.
     
  43. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    Yep. At the end it was pretty much just yellow Gatorade coming out.
     
    One Two likes this.
  44. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    If they told me that it went in one ear right out the other. I ate whatever I wanted after both mine. had no bad results.

    i have non-cancerous polyps taken out both times i've had them. so i will be getting them every 5 years for the rest of my life.
     
    Craig Pettis, slogan119, Lip and 7 others like this.
  45. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston Texans

    Worst part of all this seems to be the liquid diet the day before.
     
    mmm and Snakes like this.
  46. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I also had polyps, grandpa had colon cancer, and I have other tummy trubs. I'm also on the 5 year interval.

    Apparently the polyps take something like 7 years to turn cancerous, so that should hopefully be good
     
  47. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
    Donor
    Michigan Wolverines

    If you don't take care of your bhole during the cleanse that quite quickly becomes the worst part.
     
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  48. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    Diverticulitis. Internal hemorrhoids. Could have been worse. This has been a rollercoaster. Time to eat
     
    ~ taylor ~, Lip, arrdub and 8 others like this.
  49. roggins

    roggins Butcher of Bakersfield & Chris Gaines impersonator
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    The post examination farts are awesome. The nurse kept laughing at me. Then I heard another person in recovery fart. She laughed at them. Then I laughed because she was laughing. Then I farted again and then the other person started laughing. It was quite the bonding experience.
     
  50. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Hemorrhoids a result of the main diagnosis?

    Also please retell the pizza pants shitting story
     
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