The Colonoscopy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by AubCabs, Mar 24, 2022.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    mine was at 13:15. I had some regrets, next time it will be earlier
     
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  2. double RL

    double RL old school
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    Mine went excellent. I'm waiting on five guys right now. The doc came in and said everything was great. I said "so my butthole is tip top?" He replied "A+ butthole". I said tmb would be happy to hear.
     
  3. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    You could eat off of that asshole
     
  4. double RL

    double RL old school
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    Well, I can't, but TheFreak55 can. I'm just not as flexible as I used to be.

    Five Guys was the right choice. That was spectacular. The nurse did give me good advice in saying that I should not eat at the restaurant because the laxatives would still be doing their thing. I've also never been so encouraged to rip gas as they were just after waking up. The nurse was like "we blew you up like a balloon, so just let it go!"
     
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  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Fewer things stroke the ego like a good butthole compliment
     
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  6. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    no amount of water flavoring can mask the saltiness of golytle

    this taste is forever burned into my brain
     
  7. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    On my first colonoscopy, the doc said I had the colon of a 16yo boy.

    I asked if I had to give it back.
     
  8. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    Currently at the stage of going too much that I’m missing the 15min windows of the next 8oz
     
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  9. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Hope everything comes out alright.

    :drumroll:
     
  10. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    I mix it with white grapefruit juice and it’s not that bad (might not be same drugs tho idk)
     
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  11. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    I add mio then just drink ginger ale right after it to wash it away asap
     
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  12. jcb-r

    jcb-r Well-Known Member
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    It's the devil's piss.
     
  13. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. burnttatertot

    burnttatertot butt tuck zoomies
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    I thought it tasted pretty good.
     
  15. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Little over a year
    Anal probe round 2 coming up on Wed
    Got all the prep stuff today
    Really looking forward to it
     
  16. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    You go annually? Not jealous of the drink, but am certainly jealous of that instant sleep drug
     
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  17. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    I had my annual wellness check in late January and got the referral for a colonoscopy based on age (as I did last year, but didn't act on it). Called to schedule and took the earliest appointment available from the local gastroenterologist, Monday April 1st at 3:00 pm. I knew it meant a longer day of fasting but it didn't bother me.

    Told the wife and she just started laughing. I asked what was so funny and she replied... "You're going to have a fun Easter." Damn, never even crossed my mind.
     
  18. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Got mine coming first week of Mar.
     
  19. beerleagueman

    beerleagueman Well-Known Member

    idk man that extra 6-8 hours of fasting will feel worse after being on the toilet all afternoon and evening . I’d try to get an early morning opening if possible
     
  20. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    I was a 245 lb twenty-four year old and lost 85 pounds in 9 months through starvation and running. I know what real hunger feels like.
     
  21. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    3 PM colonoscopy sounds miserable.
     
  22. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    After randomly finding those polyps (did you even open the pic?) last year, doc said he wanted to check things out in 1 year
    If things are clear, we'll go 5 he said

    We didn't really discuss what happens if they find more, let's keep our fingers crossed we don't have to
     
    #222 bigred77, Feb 19, 2024
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2024
  23. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    What's it like living life as a midget?
     
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Annual anal
     
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  25. MJH

    MJH Well-Known Member
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    In college I worked at the UF campus radio station and did news updates. One morning the last news story in my update was something about sexual abuse counseling in the area for I think veterans, skipped over the u when reading out the annual percentage of victims and completely lost it laughing on air. Sealed my place in hell that day.
     
  26. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Like a fucking rookie, I booked pm in order to accommodate my wife/driver's schedule.

    11c9.gif
     
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  27. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    Quite comfortable when traveling.
     
  28. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Worst thing about mine, is being that we are in small-town USA the colonoscopys share the OR's at the little hospitals
    So we don't get to even pick a time.
    I have to wait for a phone call to come from the hospital the day before (typically after 2pm) to let me know what time they scheduled me for.

    If I remember correctly, last year they called and tell me I'm scheduled for like a 7:30am check in.
    I told them that will absolutely not work, as my wife (my only available driver), is also my kids only available driver. School drop off is 7:15 to 7:45, and is a 30 minute drive away from the hospital. And school schedule isn't changing for them.
    First girl acted all offended that I would tell her what time.
    Second girl just re arranged everything real quick and put me at a 6:30 am check in.

    Worked perfectly, and put me in line at what whataburger for an 11am hamburger
     
  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Just took 4 dulcolax as the beginning of my prep
    Start drinking miralax here in a couple hours

    T&p's for my butthole are appreciated
     
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  30. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I usually save that for fridays, but I'll throw another one your way on this blessed tuesday
     
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  31. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Livestream the colonoscopy plz
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  32. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Only if I can livestream the prep
     
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Ohh yea
    30 minutes into drinking the Gatorade miralax mix and first evacuation is underway
     
  34. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
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  35. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Less then an hour later and here we are again
     
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  36. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  37. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Almost made it 15 minutes that time

    Not sure why I even got up
     
  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  39. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  40. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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  41. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Entered the prep zone. Carpetbombling with laxatives commences in 20.

    :shitofdeath:
     
  42. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    still alive?
     
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  43. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Turbulent and percolating, but still holding fast.
     
    Lip likes this.
  44. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Vqk.gif
     
  45. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    Just got a call from the doc and they asked if I was open to rescheduling my appointment to 6 am on Monday.

    An easy hell yes.
     
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  46. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Go easy on the Easter dinner.
     
  47. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    I'm fasting on Sunday.
     
  48. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Saw something online that there's now a pill for prep instead of the liquid. What an absolute game changer that would be if it gets full adoption
     
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  49. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    I was walked out to my ride at 7:15 am. All clear for ten years. Had a ham sandwich and a little slice of carrot cake with coffee when I got home. This nap I'm about to take will pale in comparison to the propofol sleep.
     
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