The Colonoscopy Thread

God the pant shitting threads are always 10/10

 

Kinda hoped by now we'd see some tmb users posting their post-procedure fart highlight videos.

 

I mean a guy posted his literal nutsack just a week ago so someone is itching to get the TMI train moving

 

I have a headache from laughing.

 

Between this and the vasectomy thread, I feel like the greyboard theme should be imposed on everyone

 

I should do this. I’m 48.5 and have never had a healthy lifestyle.

 

Well hold on there, fella. I have more posts in that thread than I have functioning testicles, but I've never posted my sack

 

I meant that’s why there was a sack, not that it was yours that was posted

 

Yep. New guidelines say 45 is the age to start for everyone. Sooner, depending on family history.

HS buddy of mine just diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer a month ago. He's 34.

 

Fuck, that's terrible. I know 20 years ago colon cancer was one you really didn't want to get - have there been advancements with that one?

 

Fore sure there have been. Still not one you want to get, and you sure AF wanna find it early

 

I have mine tomorrow morning and I start prep in 3 minutes.

It's a split prep so should be an all night affair.

 

My PCP's won't stop calling me to schedule one. I'm fucking terrified of the prep, of my a-hole not being up to snuff, and what I may say when I wake up. I have something of a history of being flirty coming out of anesthesia.

 

Don't worry, you're just another asshole to them

 

It won't be your witty banter that the nurses are laughing at when you wake up

 

Have had 2. 2nd one was easy. Doc had switched his prep. Much easier and wasn't up all night shitting

 

It'll be the unicorn tattoo on my lower back.

 

I've had one. Prep is so bizarre shitting water without your bhole ever really opening up like normal

I drank beer and smoked weed all during prep and it helped, was fucked up by midnight and fell asleep with a towel wrapped around me

pro tip next time start prep hours before they tell you to so you can go to bed earlier

 

I know what you mean right here

 

My dad is in his 70s so has had a lot and now starts prepping at noon day before, never has a problem

I had 1 precancerous polyp so next year have to have another and will be following this advice. Also I drank canned broth all day, next time getting some hot and sour soup from this local Chinese joint and straining it

 

Mine being a split prep, I have to take the other half of the prep 5 hours before my procedure.

So that's 3:45am for me lol.

Looks like the 1st half is done and I can enjoy basketball and get high.

 

Mine was also split but I took first at 4pm day before (was supposed to take at 6) and took last at midnight, my procedure was at 6am

Tried to get in as much beer as possible before dose 2 where no drinking anything allowed after. Puked my guts up 10 minutes after 2nd dose and it crushed my spirit bc I thought it fucked it up and I did all that for nothing. But doctor checked me off as "clean" nbd

 

Back home. They found 4 polyps that didn't look bad but are being sent off.

 

Eat some comfort food and have an elite nap

 

excellent advice. never thought about doing that. really you could strain any soup you wanted. looking forward to this in 2027!

 

I feel like I'm crazy, but what the hell is this from CNN?

https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/09/health/colonoscopy-cancer-death-study/index.html

Big headline: New study questions the effectiveness of colonoscopies

Concerning findings: "Now, a landmark study suggests the benefits of colonoscopies for cancer screening may be overestimated. The study marks the first time colonoscopies have been compared head-to-head to no cancer screening in a randomized trial. The study found only meager benefits for the group of people invited to get the procedure: an 18% lower risk of getting colorectal cancer, and no significant reduction in the risk of cancer death."

But then the meat: "Less than half of people invited to get a colonoscopy in the study – just 42% – actually got one. When the study authors restricted the results to the people who actually received colonoscopies – about 12,000 out of the more than 28,000 who were invited to do so – the procedure was found to be more effective. It reduced the risk of colorectal cancer by 31% and cut the risk of dying of that cancer by 50%."

What in the hell kind of study (or article) draws conclusions about the effectiveness of a procedure when 58% of people...didn't have the procedure?

 

1st timer here

4 dulcolax at 1pm
Same Gatorade mix at 3pm

Here I sit, just pissing out the wrong hole

 

Mines still a little muddy looking at this point
But when I wipe its clear as water

 

What are we eating for our celebratory meal??

 

Whataburger

 

Well that last one was much less muddy
More cloudy yellow

 

You'll know you're good when you're pooping liquid and literally nothing else. End result should be a slightly yellow tinted, but completely clear liquid. The yellow tint is bile.

 

Anybody here have Chron's? I was diagnosed after my colonoscopy last year and this disease can suck it. I get flare ups out of nowhere and with no warning. One morning, I'll wake up feeling fine. The next, it feels like somebody is twisting my large intestine into a pretzel. Thankfully my flare ups tend to be short-lived, so definitely could be a lot worse.

 

I have UC and someone else on here has Chron’s.

Are you not on a pill or an infusion?

 

There are no false alarms. God speed, sir.

 

My mom and brother both have crohns. Both have had resections done in the last couple years. My mom got diagnosed back in the 90s and the surgeon said the scar tissue that had formed in her intestines was the size of a grape fruit.

 

Friend from college woke up with a pain in his side about a week ago. After tests, he’s been told he has colon cancer and they’re trying to determine if it has spread to the liver. He’s 36.

So get those colonoscopies, especially if you are having any irregular functions or symptoms with your bowels.

 

Lmao just remembered Daniel Ocean won’t get a colonoscopy bc he was afraid it would make him gay

 

Sitting here in the waiting area, feeling pretty empty but feeling like I wanna go try and poop.
Can't decide if it's mental since I usually need to poop about an hour after waking up or what

 

Give ‘em hell!

 

Laying here in the prep room, lady across the room behind the curtain is crying and freaking out worried she is gunna die from the anesthesia, etc.
Anesthesiologist just comes by and asks her about some stuff on her chest x rays, turns out she's a heavy smoker for over 30 years.

I don't mean to be ugly, but why are you so fuckin worried about yourself suddenly now when you were probably ripping cigs an hour ago outside the door of the hospital

 

tough to beat that feeling 30 seconds before you go under.

 

Because a lot of people have no self accountability when it comes to health care

 

glad to see a like from bigred77
hope the scope went well

 

Since I know many people out there are worried......
I'm alive, survived my analysis probing.
Doc did find 4 polyps, two were big enough he printed out extra pictures and gave them to my wife
He said he's glad we did this early(I'm 44) because he has no doubt those big ones would be cancerous in a few years.

My butthole is still numb from the extra local they put in to remove the polyps.
Feels really weird wiping.

 

I also had precancerous polyps (2 or 3) at 39, so have to go back in 5 years (which is next year). Bc of prep overall it's a terrible experience but better than dying. My dad's friend that would not get one died a long horrible but preventable death