The Colonoscopy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by AubCabs, Mar 24, 2022.

  1. oldberg

    oldberg Thinkin bout thos beans
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    Halfway through the miralax I wanted to fucking hurl everywhere. Some how was able to keep it down, my asshole is raw from shitting water for half a day but everything about my butthole is perfect doc said :blessed:
     
  2. Lip

    Lip Yes; this is a photo of me
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    perfect b hole is a big win
     
  3. sooz

    sooz A grumpy old fart
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    My old man threw up after it.
    He has to stay overnight due to sickness.
    Not only throw up but had trouble dropping his guts as well.
     
  4. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    my first time i puked my guts up after 2nd dose and it crushed my soul i had done all the prep for nothing, legit wanted to cry

    but went next day anyway and got a clean bhole rating
     
    oldberg likes this.
  5. Lip

    Lip Yes; this is a photo of me
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    perfect b hole >>> clean b hole
     
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  6. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    im a self admitted disaster of a human but besides my bullshit i try to take care of myself bc my wife and kids need me

    i have a shellfish allergy and had a bloody mary yesterday with clamoto in it, it fucked me up. shitting like that is the only thing i can compare to the meds you prep with

    i was trying to explain this to bertwing yesterday and he said he would never get one. its a horrible fucking way to die. i legit hate most people but i love him can we please shame him ITT
     
    bertwing likes this.
  7. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    also call him fat and stupid and not good at basketball
     
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  8. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I have a nut allergy so i will stay close to Gunners because I am very confident that no nut will come close to me


    :drumroll:
     
  9. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    You’re like two decades older than me by bhole is still in its prime
     
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  10. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    How old are you?
     
  11. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    Had one done at 34 and had a polyp removed that very close to being considered cancerous. Just had another one at 38 and only 1 polyp removed but not as bad as the other one. Scary.
     
    Sportfan likes this.
  12. Walter Melon

    Walter Melon I watch you sleep.
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    His body odor has slightly improved, though.
     
  13. southlick

    southlick "Better Than You"
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    This post was from 2022 and they're calling me to take another one.

    They said it would be 3 years but I totally forgot about it :embarrassed:
     
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  14. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    his wife (my sister) is older than me. he is just mean
     
  15. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Old enough :gfa:
     
  16. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    You actually convinced me he married your sister

    Well played, only 2 things I believe about you are you love Wu-Tang and Arkansas
     
  17. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    i could probably convince you devine had sex with a woman. you are a fucking moron
     
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  18. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    Love you forever
     
    blind dog likes this.
  19. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Get your butt probe

    I got my first one a year earlier than normally recommended and they found and removed 4 polyps that the doctor said would 100% have turned into cancer in a few years.
    Just lost a neighbor who was one of the healthiest individuals I've known. He died of colon cancer that went undetected because he didn't get probed until he was 60. He died at 64.


    I promise it won't turn you gay
     
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  20. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
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    er
     
  21. shaolin5

    shaolin5 Well-Known Member
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    A buddy of mine had his colonoscopy in a trailer that was in the parking lot of a hospital in Oak Hill, WV. I told him that was the shetchiest sentence I had ever heard said out loud and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "When I saw that trailer I knew I was going to take it in the ass one way or the other" lol. If he can do it bertwing so can you. You need to get it done, brother
     
    oldberg, bigred77, blind dog and 2 others like this.
  22. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    There's no downside. First you clear out all the old crusty shit in your guts, then you go to the hospital, and they give you really nice drugs and a pretty girl does butt stuff with you. And insurance pays for it. Can't wait for my next one.
     
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  23. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Propofol is a hell of a drug
     
  24. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    The 10 seconds you get as you fall asleep is a top 5 feeling for me. It's incredible.
     
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  25. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Plus think of it this way...if you never get one and ultimately need to undergo super invasive treatment to fix something (if you survive), there's a good chance you will end up with a nonfunctioning elon dick. I'd rather have a poke that I'm not awake to feel.
     
  26. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    My FIL had colon cancer in his 30s and my kids almost never got to know their Grandfather, get your damn colonoscopy
     
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  27. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    As someone that works in endoscopy get the shit done. Literally and figuratively. You get regular screenings and more than likely they will catch something before you need surgery end up with a colostomy or worse
     
  28. shaolin5

    shaolin5 Well-Known Member
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    Important and informative thread

     
  29. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    Wtf why are more young people getting colon cancer?
     
  30. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
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    Vaxxed?
     
  31. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    I believe they are stuffing their butts full of zyn
     
  32. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    Get my three year checkup next week

    Or I just like doing em for funsies

    Who knows?
     
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  33. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    My 3 year (maybe 2 actually) is in September. Enjoy the sleepy time
     
  34. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    I enjoyed eating like I had a endless pit for a stomach for like 12 hours
     
  35. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    Currently in the exam room waiting to talk to the digestive doc on whether or not I'm getting one.
     
  36. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    Doc was concerned enough to order one. Friday at 10:45. Hoping from some answers.
     
  37. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    Best of luck. You drinking the gallon or the pill and solution option.
     
  38. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    Gallon.
     
  39. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    For my next one, is there a most palatable option to request? Think I've only done the salty solutions, which are pretty gross
     
  40. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    MiraLAX with Gatorade and ducolax tablets is an alternative.

    don’t know if any of it is really palatable. Gotta flush them pipes
     
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  41. MJH

    MJH Well-Known Member
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    I think that’s what I had for my first one and I was fine. Second time they gave me some stuff that was supposed to be tropical fruit flavored to mix with water, I wanted to vomit while drinking it.
     
  42. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    If you don’t mind me asking what issues are you having?
     
  43. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    Sure. Last 4 or so months my stomach has been having pains when I eat. Like glass goin through my guts at its worst. Dull ache if its minor. Its random. I could eat one thing and it'll do it and then eat it the same thing again a week later and it wont. Doesn't matter if its hard or soft foods. My regular doc was perplexed. Sent me to a GI specialists and 5 weeks ago he said to up my fiber by taking metamucil. Been doing that and its helped my bowel movements but still have my issues. No bloody/black stool, sometimes diarriah but I take metformin for T2D so that causes that sometimes. Had a CT and showed I have a stone in my gallbladder but he was quite confident that isnt the issue. Wants to do this to rule out the major players.

    I do have some fam history of colorectal cancer as my gma was diagnosed in her mid 40s with stage 3. She beat it thankfully and went on to live another 28 years.

    Hopefully its no biggy.
     
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  44. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    Best of luck and hopefully it’s nothing.
     
    Wicked likes this.
  45. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    This is what I did and I guess it wasn’t too bad. Just pick a Gatorade flavor you don’t like so you don’t taint (:awesomeface:) a flavor you actually like.
     
    Lip likes this.
  46. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    I think the jugs are the best even if salty, just get a mio/water flavor for it (just make sure it's not red/purple)
     
  47. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    this is very similar to why I had to have one in my early 30s

    after scan and colonoscopy the doctor concluded I had chronic abdominal wall pain. Nothing was wrong my stupid brain was just telling me there was pain

    Completely went away on its own after a few years

    but they found a couple of polyps so glad I did it early

    also team mix with white grapefruit juice
     
  48. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    Prep day! I'm fucking starving already.
     
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  49. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
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    The solution was as bad as imagined.
     
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  50. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    If only I wasn't allergic to Grapefruit Juice. Loved that shit when I was younger before the reactions really started showing up in my early teens. :tebow:
     
    blind dog likes this.