What was your biggest fumble?

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by DrTomOsbourne, Jan 6, 2025.

  1. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    Friends and I were having a laugh in the group chat, and I figured the stories on here could be pretty good from some of us degenerates.


    I was not good with girls in high school. At all.

    My first weekend of college I was talking with this girl and she asked if I wanted to go wrestle in my dorm room. Those exact words.

    So I took her up to my room.

    And I legitimately wrestled her. Then sent her on her way.
     
  2. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Probably the butt fumble
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  3. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ not affiliated with Taylor Momsen
    Donor TMB OG

    I talked a girl into getting back together with her ex rather than hooking up with her. And I was hammered.
     
  4. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

  5. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    This killed me. :roll:
     
    ARCO, Pelican, dump and 7 others like this.
  6. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Did you win?
     
  7. B-Boy $P1

    B-Boy $P1 Ball-knower, Poster, Trusted Agent
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsLos Angeles LakersChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksBorussia DortmundWest Ham UnitedBall State CardinalsOlympics

    That's so unbelievable that I actually believe you
     
  8. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    Yeah I remember she didn't put up much of a fight
     
  9. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    Oh it happened.
     
    comrade static, dump and 40wwttamgib like this.
  10. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
    Donor

    non-sexual but I have a relative who is a bitcoin bazillionaire. he was a bitcoin proselytizer when it was under a dollar, he had (has?) thousands of them but I never bought in

    now there's no chance I ride it to 100k+ but I wonder about that sometimes
     
  11. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesPhoenix SunsDallas Cowboys

    upload_2025-1-6_21-11-24.gif
     
  12. arsenal

    arsenal Well, ain’t this place a geographical oddity.
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsMiami DolphinsArsenalCharlotte FC

    How much time you got?
     
    billdozer, Doc Louis, ARCO and 24 others like this.
  13. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas CowboysTiger WoodsLos Angeles Angels of AnaheimUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Imagine the convo she had with her girlfriends after leaving the wrestling session.
     
  14. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas CowboysTiger WoodsLos Angeles Angels of AnaheimUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    They definitely thought you were gay.
     
  15. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesPhoenix SunsDallas Cowboys

    He blew my back out with a Boston Crab.
     
  16. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    that’s because she wanted to fuck :laugh:
     
  17. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    Thought? I figured this was a coming out fumble.
     
  18. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

    Woah what
     
  19. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    im busy. I’ll be with you in a sec.
     
  20. joey jo-jo jr shabadoo

    joey jo-jo jr shabadoo you know for me, the action is the juice

    you really put the whole thing together there
     
  21. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    All by myself!
     
  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    My and Oranjello 's fraternity brother cancelling his date with Margot Robie due to needing to work late should be the automatic thread winner.
     
  23. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    I came to realize this at a later point in time
     
  24. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    better to error on the side of caution in those circumstances. A scholar and a gentleman you are.

    Hope you figure foured her ass
     
    ramszoolander, NCHusker, dump and 6 others like this.
  25. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakersBook Club

    When I was 13 I played spin the bottle with a girl I had a huge crush on who was a few years older. I didn’t want to seem desperate so I said something unbelievably stupid which (if I had any shot) completely ruined the moment. It took about 3 more years of pursuing her before anything happened.
     
    Charles DeMar, dump, One Two and 5 others like this.
  26. aisle seven

    aisle seven aka B.J. Wineglass
    Donor

    “And then he told me to suck it…. But like Shawn Michaels and DX…”

    :laugh:
     
  27. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakersBook Club

    nah she probably wasn’t in DrTomOsbourne weight class
     
    TheFreak55, dump and 40wwttamgib like this.
  28. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    Too many to list
     
  29. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    She was skinny. Not overly good looking but looking back i definitely would have had i been given the opportunity.







    (I know)
     
    jrmy, Charles DeMar, dump and 3 others like this.
  30. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesPhoenix SunsDallas Cowboys

    As soon as he took off her jacket.

    Puppies!!

    upload_2025-1-6_21-30-49.gif
     
  31. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
    Donor

    that’s the no quit spirit I can respect.
     
    Charles DeMar, dump, oldberg and 4 others like this.
  32. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakersBook Club

    u were definitely given the opportunity
     
  33. Emma

    Emma and I am you and what I see is me
    Donor
    Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers

    not taking college seriously
     
  34. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakersBook Club

    to be fair it was Wisconsin so
     
    TheFreak55, Emma, dump and 5 others like this.
  35. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksSeattle SupersonicsSeattle Kraken

    1) In college I used the term “ice queen” IRL when talking to a hotter-than-me girl i was casually seeing. This was a poorly deployed anchorman reference (only language spoken at the time) which was not really well received by her and/or her sorority sisters. This had a cascading effect and things fizzled naturally.

    2) 2.5 years ago, after leaving a FANG job, i was deciding between an early AI job and something else. I took something else. :embarrassed:
     
  36. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    I feel like this would need to be a separate thread - I've had some massive business whiffs.
     
  37. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
    Donor
    Florida GatorsNew York MetsTampa Bay BuccaneersNew York Islanders

    Take you back to my sophomore year in college. Was really interested in this cute little Cuban girl from Miami. Absolutely beautiful she was. She was equally interested in me and we walked down to her dorm room where her roommate was unpacking some shit. They had mentioned they wanted to separate their bunk beds so me being the hero I tried to gauge how heavy the bed would be to lift it up and as I’m saying specifically “this isn’t too heavy” while lifting it up, I let out an exertion fart that echoed throughout the room and probably down the hall.

    I lowered the bed back down and slinked away. The relationship never developed.
     
  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    :roll::roll:
     
    CUAngler, ARCO, Charles DeMar and 9 others like this.
  39. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace


    Beautiful.

    Like a well written "i think you should leave" bit
     
  40. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    I’ve said/done plenty of dumb shit, but I can’t compete with the OP. That’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. It’s the kind of thing I’d make up about a buddy to bust his balls.
     
  41. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    Tim wouldn’t have slinked away. He would’ve blamed it on the bed and then tried repeatedly to get it to make a fart noise again.
     
  42. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksSeattle SupersonicsSeattle Kraken

    If this doesnt become the most liked (non-mod) post then we’re just not doing it right
     
  43. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsBig 8 Conference

    Half Nelson? Full Nelson? Power bomb? What sort of wrestling moves won this thing
     
    ARCO, Charles DeMar, dump and 9 others like this.
  44. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Be great to hear the girl's take afterwards to her friends.

    "I guess he's just really, like, literal. I mean he pinned me and counted it out"
     
  45. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    I dont remember but I clearly remember at one point being on top of her sitting on her stomach holding both of her arms back behind her head and just being like "are you done?" in a sarcastic winning tone.
     
  46. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsBig 8 Conference

    @Bobfather is somewhere fully erect at that wrasslin story my god it’s so beautiful.

    That’s some shit Borat would do
     
  47. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    It was at Iowa Western Community College in council bluffs iowa in the fall of 2004 and her name was Erin maybe we can find her somehow and get her side of the story.
     
  48. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsBig 8 Conference

    If doctor Tom doesn’t change his user name to Andy Kaufman what are we even doing here
     
  49. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksSeattle SupersonicsSeattle Kraken

    “So anyways, she gets down in full guard but i go Monday Night Raw and turn her into the Walls of Jericho. No idea why she never called back she tapped out”
     
  50. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersTampa Bay LightningCrystal Palace

    I was an R.A. and everyone lived in the same building so I got to see her every day for the whole year I was there too