yeah it was definitely posted by said user on their actual account. can’t remember the full context of the story but i do remember people jumping down his throat for it
I think, in retrospect and through the process of learning and experience, trying to make relationships work that have no business working is an unfortunate fumble for me
Summer of 1985, I was 16 and working my first job washing cars and mopping floors for a local BMW/MBZ/Volvo service shop. I finish washing a Mercedes and bring it up to the customer, who offers me $5. I say "Thank you, but I already get paid."
Minus the mating tho, I’m just imagining her thinking it’s gonna be sexy and our 5 heart posters put her in a full Nelson.
Just some I remember In college and a girl invites me over to work on our group project. I show up and she’s all dressed up. Invites me to her room and we spend 15 minutes studying before I get up and leave for some reason even with her trying to get me to stay. We also both failed the project. I was visiting some friends one night a couple hours from where I lived, end up at some random party playing beer pong. Friend and I beat 2 girls and I say something stupid about winning and she says “it doesn’t matter because tonight, tomorrow, or some point in the future you and I are gonna fuck” I left town the next morning without Karaoke night at a bar and the alcohol gets my confidence up to do a song. 2 girls come up to me afterwards and we end up hanging out. They take me back to their place and there’s another dude already there. The girls get up and go to the bedroom and a few minutes later the guy looks at me and says you ready to go in there and tag team them. For some reason again I just got up and left. Edit to add one since someone mentioned Disney I worked the gate at Pleasure Island many years ago and ended up chatting this woman who was friends with a friend of mine and from my hometown. We chatted at the gate for easily 30 minutes and she invited me back to her hotel. I declined since I was supposed to work another couple hours. I got cut literally 5 minutes later but had no way to get in contact with her
Wish I could find the 30 Rock clip where Jack gets the guy to “wrestle” with Banks. “You’re so strong. Oh my, you’re having your way with me. Your back is like a barrel of snakes.”
Summer of 1993 I was working on Beethoven's 2nd on the Universal lot. One afternoon I'm riding a bike back from Stage 1 to Stage 12, passing the screening theaters, when a Rover lurches out of a parking spot right in front of me. I swerve violently and avoid contact. I figure I'm lucky, then I see who's behind the wheel I should have let Spielberg hit me
Grodin was cool. Bonnie Hunt was a sweetheart. Debi Mazar scared the hell out of me. Chris Penn was an asshole. Probably already told the story about him going through the window of his GF's BMW window to get to her right in front of a tram at the Great Outdoors cabin
a girl: hey, show me that big ol’ whizzer I’ve been hearing about. DrTomOsbourne : *underhooks the arm pit and shucks the nice lady by* “TWO!”
One random college house party i ended up at not knowing hardly anyone but the friend who i rode with. The shady friend that always knew random people from all different groups. Friend ends up leaving me at the party. I had been passing hitting on this one girl who was always in the same area that I had to pass going to the keg, I had basically been grabbing her cup and filling it up every time I passed by. Didn't even know her name, but told her I got left by my friend and asked her for a ride home. Well time comes to leave, she is driving has a guy friend and a female friend in all in her truck with us. Guy friend starts trying to work out logistics of where we all live so she doesn't have to backtrack. She shuts him down and tell them both they are getting dropped off first. Get to my house and she says she needs to use the restroom Walk in, my roommate is on the couch watching TV. I being the gentleman I am showed her where the bathroom is then promptly sat on the couch with my roommate. She comes out asks to see my room I show it to her, then thank her for the ride home and sit back on the couch. My roommate almost killed me when she left. I've never heard the end of that one.
I tried to think of something but can’t think of anything remotely interesting other than the below. When I was working with my college’s basketball team as a freshman, on the last day of the last road trip of the season I had to go around and pick up everyone’s room key because this was back in the days when you had to turn those in. So I go to knock on the athletic trainer’s door. She was the only woman in the traveling part so she had a room all to herself. She answers the door in nothing but her underwear. Not like trying to hide behind the door or anything like that so she can tell me to wait a minute while she gets dressed or anything like that. Opens the door wide open to be on full display to see her in nothing but bra and panties. And it gets even more awkward from there as she invited me into her room while she is looking for the key. She gives me the key and I leave the room in shock and because I have a bunch more keys I still need to get.
Oh here’s one from high school. This might be more of a fuck around and find out or a “I accidentally became important and it’s killing me” type thing, but it’s a good fumble too because my own stupidity caused it. During either my junior or senior year prom king and queen nomination time came around. Only juniors and seniors were eligible to vote and be nominated. I nominated myself as a joke because I was in my class clown phase at the time. I had zero intentions of ever going to the prom because I HATE parties. I fully expected to not get anything more than a handful of votes from my small circle of friends if even that. Well I greatly underestimated my apparent popularity. After the first round of voting, they announce the five finalists, which of course are the five people who got the most votes. I made the top five. And of course if you’re a finalist it’s kind of an unwritten requirement you go to prom because that’s when the winners are announced. So I end up going to prom because what if I somehow pulled out the win and I didn’t show up? Then I’d just be an asshole that let down all these people that voted for me. I didn’t win, and I hated every second of it. So lesson is don’t nominate yourself for something if you don’t want to bear the responsibility of it.
The senior class before me while filling out the superlatives thingy voted overwhelmingly for the cross eyed guy and girl in our class to win “best eyes”. Bunch of assholes.
I was on a break with my college gf and had started somewhat dating a girl I met on vacation - she came to Ole Miss multiple times to see me and wanted to actually start dating for real but I ended up kinda ghosting to a degree and getting back with my ex. This was before the days of being able to immediately research everything about someone (or at least I didn't do it) - anyways her family is worth north of $700 million or something along those lines which I found out later. That would have been probably been fun.
Probably not it but I played hockey against Sarah Palin’s shithead kid, played hockey with her daughter’s shithead baby daddy, and long term dated her campaign manager’s daughter.
I'm assuming the guy sucked but he probably had some mind blowing anecdotes about her on the campaign trail that would be worth the price of admission.
Not any one moment but I’ve fumbled a couple different times with the girl that’s probably the closest thing to a soul mate I’ll ever meet. Big enough fumbles that my friends still ask me WTF I was doing/thinking years later. Me and her are still great friends but she’s been married for awhile now so it is what it is. She’s even asked me why the hell i never asked her out.
We all got together and voted one of the biggest nerds in our class prom king. He ended up loving it and feeling like he really fit in because of that win. So in retrospect, we did a good thing
In 1991, the Red Hot Chili Peppers booked a tour with Pearl Jam and Nirvana as their opening acts before anyone had heard of them. They only played like 6-8 shows before both Pearl Jam and Nirvana blew up and the tour cancelled. One of the shows was at a small, 8500 venue in Cincinnati that has since been torn down. My roommate tried to talk me into going, but I didn’t want to spend the $20 because I wasn’t into RHCP and didn’t know the other two. Also, on failed conquests, I got blackout drunk one night and woke the next morning in the waterbed (fully clothed) of one of my co-worker’s roommates. When I woke up, she asked me if I ever had sex in a waterbed. I was so hung over that I said, yes, then left.