I used to play softball with a guy who turned down a blind date with pre-famous Cameron Diaz because he didn't date Mexican women
Yea our idiot's declined date was post Wolf of Wall Street - the girl who set up the date came with him to my club a month or so later and was just roasting him about it. But also, not dating latin women is quite a choice especially in California.
same as it was huge in the poker community back in 2012. I would have just degened it off though most likely in casinos
Freshman year of high school. A really cute girl I liked asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I was a wreck around girls then, so of course I made up an excuse why I couldn't go. Using my quick thinking, I told her I had soccer practice the evening of the dance and just couldn't make it. Problem was, the dance was from 9-11 pm on a Friday. She also happened to be on the girls soccer team and knew we didn't have practice. No one did at that time of night. The face she gave me was one I can only describe as a mix of disbelief and pity. I can see it now still in my head. Of course she ended up being a smokeshow and I never got another shot with her. Boy was that sad.
I had grades/SATs to get scholarship at Ohio State. I decided on local school because it was the easy decision and I loved drugs, made easy decision way too many times in my life not a fun answer but whatever, my sister made good decisions and is rich; I am not
In college drunk hook up girl says “you’re not allowed to move, if you move a muscle Im done” I thought woah okay this should be fun. She starts making her way down and goes to pull my shorts off. Me laying on my back I lift my butt up so she can get the shorts off and she immediately says “you moved” plops down next to me facing the wall, doesnt say a word, and goes to sleep.
I think I’ve told this story somewhere on here but I was a college freshman interning at an ad agency and they sent me to pick up the Costco order. So I roll into Costco, get the order and walk through check out, and a cute college aged girl was doing the check out and we small talk while she’s ringing everything up and I tell her I’m there picking up for the office I’m interning at. Swipe the card and she says, “oh do business receipts I need you to write your phone number on the back of it for me…” Stupid me fumbles around, “oh hang on let me find the cards for the office I can’t remember the phone number for it.” Guys, I don’t think she wanted my office phone number.
My first 3 years of college was when the deconstruction of my religious beliefs took place. During that time, I wrestled (different wrestling than OP) with a lot of guilt over things I had grown up being taught were bad. There's too many fumbles to count due to this, but I blatantly turned down sex on multiple occasions with multiple people and broke up with a girl that I likely would have married due to guilt that wouldn't have existed had we met like a year later.
I read this (and all of your posts) as if Hank is still just chatting with Homer about life It's pretty great
This thread, while very funny, explains a lot about the doc. Respect from me for growing out of the community college RA coed wrestling incel phase.
No good fumble stories but apparently I’m oblivious at receiving signals. In every phase of life (HS/College/Adult Life) I’ve later crossed paths with a girl that has said some version of I had a crush on you back in _____ but you never asked me out. Thank you for letting me know HS girl I haven’t seen in a few decades who is at this small home town function with your current husband and kids.
My dad was willing to set me up with an active guard reserve job where I would have been a fighter pilot while building hours for the airlines. I’d currently be a reserve fighter pilot and getting ready to be a captain for a legacy airline making 250k+ a year flying 40 hours a month I told him I was going to law school instead
I could have taken over my fathers business and been an oblivious failson but now I’m out here in the rat race
Rents due. Some of us had to pay our own way through school so a year of CC and free room and board and all of the missed sex was a steal
In 2021, I had just started a job at a FANG and an acquaintance reached out to me about a role at OpenAI but I politely declined bc I had just started. About six months later someone else on my team brought up their best friend who had just joined OpenAI in a very similar role and told me how much equity they got and I about cried on the video call.
In 2014 I went to see my brother and he had this giant computer in his room and I asked him what it was and he said he was mining bitcoin. Ok nerd. Nerd now lives in NYC, buying land in New Mexico, and travels the world at his leisure.
All of my big ones involve Bitcoin in one way or another. Like the time I paid $800K of Bitcoin (at today’s prices) for five tabs of LSD.
Also I got laid off last year from the original company and to my knowledge, OpenAI didn't have any mass layoffs
I attempted to break up with my current wife a couple times early in the relationship. Thank god she was too jaded at that point and I recovered the fumble. I started a side practice with one of my current business partners without really knowing her. That side gig has now grown into a real business with 15 employees. I absolutely despise her and there is no real way out.
A buddy and I paid about the same for what I thought was mdma to take for a sweet concert. Turned out it was some lab hallucinogen and we had to leave an hour in because we started tripping balls. I enjoy tripping but it's terrible when you're not expecting it. His wife had to drive us home, and she ended up calling 911 because he couldn't figure out how to sit up and started screaming at the top of his lungs that he was dead. 0/10 would not recommend and a terrible waste of like $500k in today's money.
I never knew such a thing was an option until I aged out. Had I thought to dig around more 10 years ago this could have been my cool job too
Alright. So I was in 9th grade so around 2003 I had a crush on this girl a year younger. We would hang out all the time but I rarely got to see her now that I was in high school and she was in middle. So one weekend she tells me she misses seeing me and wants me to come hang out at her house while her parents were out at the Elks, drinking or something. Real Varsity Blues whipped cream bikini stuff Now, im thinking she has a crush on me too and we’re going to make out and end up a couple eventually since we’ve apparently liked each other for so long. We’re sitting on her couch watching “ready to rumble”, which is a fantastic wrestling movie from the early 2000’s. She gets up for something and comes back and sits on my lap and wraps her arms around me and hugs me. In a moment of complete stupidity, which to this day, I can’t explain why. I said her to “I’ve got a boner out to Beirut”. Now…and this time, I’ve never been to Lebanon. I was completely joking about having a boner and just wanted to make her laugh. I’m still not sure what that means. Having an erection that stretches from the Hills of Appalachia to the Middle East? This was 20+ years ago and I still don’t know why I said it or what it means. she replied with “did you say you have a boner to Babe Ruth?”! And I chortled nervously and said “NO!” She got off my lap and sat beside me and hardly talked the rest of the movie. We never hung out again. I had to see her in the halls of school for the next 3 years. She’s still hot and I apparently still have massive boners alone.
Piggy backing on all the bitcoin fumbles here. Back in April of 2011 I had been playing poker professionally for several years and was doing pretty well. Unfortunately, that was the month that the DoJ seized the domains for all the online poker sites and shut them down, creating absolute chaos for poker pros who had big chunks of their net worth, especially of their cash, in now-frozen poker accounts. I was lucky enough that I had a decent amount of cash, at least enough to survive on until my accounts were unfrozen. However, I wasn't so sure about my friends, which made me nervous, because a couple of them owed me a decent amount of money. One such friend owed me $80,000 USD. It wasn't completely atypical for us to lend each other large amounts of money because we knew each other were good for it, and it was kind of the nature of the poker scene back then. But this was a lot of money for me at the time, and it just so happened that it was right before his poker accounts were frozen, and he didn't have enough cash to cover it. He did, however, have bitcoin. And he was very insistent on paying me with it. I just wanted to make sure I got my money because I didn't know what was going to happen in the following days/weeks/months, and I'd be fine without the 80k, but I would feel much better with it. So I was taught how to set up a wallet. Shortly thereafter, I was transferred just over 27,777 bitcoin, which I immediately sold. Would be worth about 2.7 billion dollars today. I don't feel TOO bad because I never had anything remotely close to any intention of hanging onto it for more than a few minutes, but how amazing would it be if I just forgot about it somehow, and just had 2.7 BILLION dollars in bitcoin? I wouldn't acquire any more bitcoin for almost 10 years. By then it was almost $20,000 for a single coin. I don't know exact numbers, but I figure my friend made high 8 or low 9 figures on his remaining BTC.
nowhere near a fumble but just a similar kind of story. Was watching some guy stream himself playing poker on some random site like 10+ years ago. He had a signup code that got you $10 in bitcoin. Signed up, jumped on for about 10 minutes and lost like 75 cents playing .01/.02 poker and signed off never to return. Bitcoin boom happens and I transfered the bitcoin off the site at a value of $350. Look at me mr. moneybags.
Similar story to a few in here. Senior girl once whispered to my sophomore ears that she was going to be my first. I was absolutely in love with her, but was completely terrified by her. She invited me over multiple times to “help her study Spanish.” Instead, I actually helped her get an A from the C she had at midterms! She wrote me a love letter her freshman year of college when I was a junior. She’s now happily married to a professional golfer. Ran into her “accidentally” at a tournament a few years later before they were engaged and, shockingly, did not appear to be particularly interested in me. She did turn into a total wine-mom snake oil social media lunatic though, so maybe it worked out better for both of us.
Female related it is probably my first high school girlfriend who I only briefly dated who I found out after the fact liked me for the rest of high school. Immediately after highschool she got a boob job and became an nfl cheerleader.